Of Love and Friendship, and Sorrow and Loss
by FreyInWonderland
Summary: Arthur set himself down on a moss-covered rock and stretched his legs out in front of him. His sword lay, discarded, on the other side of the valley. Arthur looked down at the large gash on his stomach and groaned, dropping his head to his hands.
1. Chapter 1

Arthur set himself down on a moss-covered rock and stretched his legs out in front of him. His sword lay, discarded, on the other side of the valley. Arthur looked down at the large gash on his stomach and groaned, dropping his head to his hands.

'Sire?' Merlin crouched before him, worried.

'I'm fine.' Arthur lied. He hadn't even noticed the wound until he'd been dragged away from the scene of carnage that lay a few miles away. Arthur and his knights had been out on their weekly hunt, following a small group of deer they had come upon in a clearing. They were crouched behind a group of bushes, when out of nowhere and arrow had come flying from the left and struck Gwaine in the shoulder. The man fell to the ground with a cry, and as Arthur rushed to his aid, at least fourteen men had emerged from the shadows. Arthur couldn't be sure if _any _of his men had managed to escape, but he was defiant that he was going back to find out.

Pushing to his feet and knocking Merlin out of the way, Arthur hobbled to the nearest tree, pressing his hand firmly against the wound on his stomach to stop the bleeding.

'Arthur. What are you doing?' Merlin called out, getting to his feet.

'I need to find-' Arthur leaned against the tree as his legs threatened to give out, and Merlin was at his side in an instant, wrapping an arm around his waist. 'I have to find them, Merlin.' Merlin shook his head, and gently started leading Arthur back to the rock.

'Get off!' Arthur exclaimed, attempting to push away his manservant and wincing as a brand new shot of pain ran through his torso. His legs buckled, and before he knew it his face was connecting with the mud-covered ground. He squeezed his eyes shut, hearing nothing but the ringing in his ears and feeling nothing but pain. Beside him, Merlin lay on his stomach, frowning at his king.

'Arthur…' he said, irritation in his voice

'Shut up!' Arthur retorted, opening one eye and glaring at his useless servant. Merlin pushed himself onto his knees and crawled to Arthur's side, assisting the man in sitting himself up. Once again, Arthur swatted him away.

'I don't _need _you help!' he snapped. Merlin stared, open eyes, at the king, and folded his arms across his chest.

'You obviously do, _sire._ Have you seen your stomach lately?' Arthur scowled at the boy, his now muddy blonde hair falling in front of his eyes. Merlin took in the appearance of Arthur, chuckling as he noticed the patches of mud that covered his face and his chain mail.

'_What_ is so funny?!' Arthur turned to look at his servant.

'You're a mess…' Merlin said, moving to a sitting position. Arthur looked at him, confused. 'The- you're covered in mud.' Merlin smiled, the smile he showed only to Arthur, who continued to stare at his servant, straight-faced.

'So are you.' He stated. Merlin's face fell, and he lifted a hand to swipe mud from his nose, forgetting that his hands were also covered and making it worse. Arthur watched him, the corners of his lips flickering upwards.

'You really are an idiot, Merlin.' He states, wiping his hands on his trousers.

'Most definitely.' Merlin looked at his muddy hands, frowning. Arthur looked around the small forest clearing, then glanced at Merlin, his face suddenly breaking into a grin as he caught his servant looking back at him. Arthur laughed a hearty laugh, trying to ignore the throbbing pain that ran through him. Merlin looked down at him.

'How are you feeling?'

'Just brilliant.' Arthur said, sarcastically, as he propped himself up on his elbows.

'We have to get back to Camelot, Gaius can help.'

'How, exactly, do you plan on getting there? We have no horses, and it's more than a day's walk.' Arthur looked back down at his stomach. 'And I can't exactly walk, now, can I?'

'Well, I-' Arthur's head snapped up. Somewhere ahead of them, a branch snapped and he was sure he could hear the rustling of leaves.

'Merlin…' Arthur struggled to sit himself up, and Merlin placed a hand firmly on his lower back.

'What? What is it?' he asks, concerned. Arthur does not reply, he sits still, gazing into the darkness of the trees. 'Arthur?' Arthur holds up a hand, and Merlin's mouth shuts immediately.

'Listen.'

Merlin sits up straighter and follows Arthur's gaze into the trees. He hears the faint tweeting of birds, and the call of an owl. Somewhere off to their left, a horse neighs. One of their own, perhaps? The horses had been left atop a steep ridge, one that the men had barely been able to climb down, but Merlin supposed they could have gotten free. Or maybe, someone had let them free. Behind them, Merlin heard the faint sound of whispering, and he turned his head to the side, trying to make out what words were being said. Arthur looked to his servant.

'Mer-'

'Shhhh.'

Merlin got to his feet and looked around him. The voices came from the east, and sounded no more than a few minutes away. He knelt next to Arthur and wrapped an arm around his waist. Gently lifting him to his feet and apologising when Arthur groaned in pain.

'We have to move.'

'Wh-why?' Arthur shut his eyes as Merlin moved him suddenly to the right.

'Someone's coming'

'What do you…. Who?'

'I don't know, Arthur, but we have to keep moving.' After a while of being dragged through the trees, Arthur smacked Merlin's hand from his waist and collapsed to the ground, his hand pressed to his stomach.

'Arthur?' Merlin exclaimed, worriedly, reaching a hand out.

'I'm… fine.' Arthur snapped. Merlin looked around him and headed towards the nearest tree, leaning against it and shutting his eyes for a moment. Arthur sat, trembling in pain, on the ground, his hair stuck to his forehead with mud and sweat. Not too far away, a knight was waking up, surrounded by the bodies of the man he used to call friends.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so it's kind of a terrible chapter so I'm sorry. I just wasn't really... inspired? Anyway, enjoy and please review :)**

Merlin moved Arthur to the tree, setting him on the ground. The king's eyes were already closed, and Merlin shook him.

'No, no, you can't sleep Arthur.' Arthur's eyes flickered open and he looked at Merlin, irritated.

'Why not?' he asked, sleepily.

'You're injured, remember…' he looked around the clearing they now sat in. Pine trees and large oaks surrounded them, making shadows look like ghosts and making every bird call sound a million times louder.

Merlin moved to sit next to Arthur, stretching out his legs and yawning.

'I don't want you dying on me.'

'I can die if I want to.' Arthur mumbled, childishly, trying to get into a comfortable position and once again letting his eyes close. Merlin rolled his eyes and dug his elbow into the King's side.

'Arthur!'

'I'm awake!'

Merlin shook his head and slid down further, letting his head roll a little to the side. He could feel his eyes growing heavy, and he struggled to keep them open for more than a second. He felt sleep calling for him, but he fought against it, throwing his head backwards. His head connected with the tree, and Merlin sat up, rubbing at the back of his head. Beside him, Arthur chuckled.

'Wake you up, did it?' he asked, as Merlin scowled at him.

'Prat.' Merlin whispered, as he fell asleep.

Merlin's eyes flickered open. His head was pounding, and his eyes were heavy. Looking around him, the blurry figure of Arthur came into view, and he sat himself up.

'Arthur?' The man was sat in front of a burning fire, hunched over on a log. At the sound of his name, he turned his head.

'Hmmm?'

'You made a fire…' Merlin ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his tired eyes, as he moved to join Arthur.

'Did you figure that out all on your own?' Arthur mocked, making room on the log. Merlin look at his king's face, then down to his stomach. He could not see the wound, as Arthur's arm hid it, but he could see a small sliver of red on his chain mail.

'You really should get that looked at…' Merlin said, quietly.

'It's fine, Merlin. Just a scratch…' The orange flames lit up Arthur's face, and Merlin watched him closely for a moment.

'Really?'

'Yes. Really.'

'But-'

'Just drop it, Merlin!'

The rest of the evening dragged on for what seemed like forever, with Arthur sat staring into the flames of the fire. Merlin couldn't tell if the man was thinking or just tired. The fire died down, and Merlin moved back to the tree, this time lying down. He shut his eyes, and after a moment he heard the shuffling of feet as Arthur moved next to him.

'Do you think any of them made it?' Arthur asked in a quiet, almost child-like voice. Merlin's eyes opened at the unexpected question.

'Who?' Arthur sighed, sadly, not answering Merlin's question, and after a moments silence, it was Merlin that spoke.

'I think… that your knights are the bravest men in the land. They've faced dragons and warlocks, and not once did they run away in fear. So yes, I think they're fine. They're probably searching for us as we speak.'

'Do you really believe that?' Merlin lay silent, the tone of doubt in Arthur's voice alarming him. He was at a loss for words.

'Great.'

They woke at dawn, to dancing raindrops and whispering winds. Arthur lay with his eyes wide open. He hadn't slept well the night before, due to a thunder storm that had managed to knock a few trees over. His dirty-blonde hair was once again plastered to his face. During the night, he had rolled over onto a rock, and it had angered the wound on his stomach, so much so that it was still screaming at him. His eyes were fixed on a nearby clump of grass, and his teeth were clamped together.

Merlin turned onto his back and looked up at the crying sky. His ears picked up the sound of Arthur's shaky breath.

'Arthur? Are you awake?'

'Yes.' Arthur strained. The pain in Arthur's voice worried Merlin, and he swiftly moved closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

'Hey, what's wrong?'

'I do- wh… Can't.' Merlin's eyebrows furrowed, and he lifted his other hand to Arthur's side.

'Arthur…' Looking him over, Merlin saw a fresh patch of blood on Arthur's stomach, and his mind went blank. He looked to the pale, ghostly face of his king.

'Tell me what to do, Arthur.' He said, embarrassed to find tears welling in his eyes. Since when did Merlin cry over anyone? He lifted a hand a angrily wiped the tears away. Arthur stayed silent, trembling beneath him, and Merlin suddenly realised that he had no idea what to do. More tears fell down his cheeks, and Merlin tried to think. He assumed that Arthur's wound had become infected, somehow, but since Arthur refused to show that anything was wrong, Merlin didn't know how bad it really was. He lifted a hand to his forehead, shutting his eyes and forcing himself to think straight.

'Okay… okay.' Merlin rolled Arthur onto his back and swiped a strand of hair from his face. The man looked like death itself, and a small minnow of fear swam through him.

'Arthur, open your eyes.' Arthur's eyes flickered faintly, but did not open. It was enough for Merlin, though.

'Alright, okay… ummm, I need you to sit up. Just for a moment.' Merlin gripped onto Arthur's shoulder, slipping an arm under him and gently lifting. Arthur groaned and he was lifted into a sitting position, and Merlin leaned him back against the large oak tree that was sheltering them from the rain. Merlin sighed and looked down to Arthur's stomach, reaching his hand out and lifting his chain mail. The gash looked frighteningly out of place against Arthur's pale skin. Blood ran in small rivers towards the ground. Merlin glanced up at Arthur then back to his stomach. He ripped a line of fabric from his blue tunic and pressed it against Arthur's stomach.

Arthur flickered open his eyes. The world was spinning and his head was pounding. He fixed his eyes on the mop of black hair before him.

'Merlin.' He mumbled. Blue eyes connected with is, and Arthur could see the fear on Merlin's face.

'Arthur…'

'What're you doing?' he asked, his eyes momentarily closing again.

'The wound on your stomach… it's infected.' Arthur's eyes scanned Merlin's face.

'Are you alright?' he asked, s look of concern on his face.

'Typical,' Merlin scoffed. 'You're practically dying, and you're asking _me _if I'm alright?' Merlin looked up at Arthur and instantly regretted his words. Merlin had never seen anything but annoyance on the face of his king, and he couldn't be sure if he was right or not, but Merlin saw a glimmer of fear in Arthur's eyes. He placed a hand on Arthur's knee, looking him in the eye as confidently as he could.

'You're going to be fine, Arthur.' Merlin kept his eyes locked with Arthur's, and for a moment he almost believed what he was saying.


	3. Chapter 3

For the past twenty minutes, Arthur had been awake and responsive; his eyes followed Merlin as he darted around him, trying to make him comfortable and to stop Arthur's stomach from bleeding. Merlin's pacing was making Arthur nervous, not to mention the irritating sound of feet crushing dead leaves and twigs.

'Stop fussing, Merlin! I'm _fine_!' Merlin's head snapped up, and he looked at Arthur, wide-eyed. The man stared back at him, no sign of pain or discomfort in his eyes, and Merlin leaned back against a tree, his arms hung limply by his sides.

'You are not _fine!_' he yelled, unable to stop himself. 'You could have died, Arthur! You're hurt, and you need to get back to Camelot so Gaius can look after you because I'm, certainly not qualified, and _stop _trying to convince yourself you're alright, because you're _not_! Okay? You're not alright, you wouldn't wake up, no matter how hard I shook you, and it freaked me out, I thought I'd lost you…' The words flowed from his mouth quickly, and Merlin realised he was babbling, but he couldn't stop himself. He had been scared half to death when Arthur didn't wake up, and he was certainly not getting away with pretending to be okay.

Merlin took a deep breath, waiting for Arthur's angry retort, but none came. Arthur sat still, staring once again into the orange flames of the fire. There was no expression on his face, no sign of what he was thinking, of how he was feeling.

Merlin bowed his head.

'You'll never lose me.' His voice was so quiet that Merlin wasn't sure if he had heard it at all. Merlin kept his eyes on the muddy ground.

'You don't know that…' he answered back. Arthur turned his head to look at Merlin, his eyes scanning his face.

'Yes,' he stated, confidently. 'I do.' Merlin's head lifted, and the two men's eyes connected for a moment, before Arthur looked away. Merlin took a step forward.

'No, Arthur. You don't. You don't know things I do, you-' Merlin stopped himself from saying any more. He wanted so badly to tell Arthur what he knew, to warn him about Mordred and to tell him about his magic, but he was afraid. Afraid of what Arthur would think of him. Of what he would do.

'What do you mean?'

'Nothing. It's… not important.'

'Merlin?' Arthur looked up at him with confused eyes. He wanted nothing more to understand what Merlin was thinking, but he knew it was far from possible. Merlin moved and sat near him on the ground.

'Have- have you ever had to keep a secret?' he started.

'Of course I have.'

'I mean, something so big it killed you inside? All the lying and the hiding…' Arthur's eyebrows furrowed.

'Merlin, what _are _you talking about?' Merlin looked up, into his eyes.

'I- can't… tell you.' Arthur looked away from Merlin, disappointment coursing through him.

'I'm sorry, Arthur.'

The two men sat silently by the fire for what seemed like forever before Merlin picked up the courage to talk.

'You're not… mad at me, are you?' he asked, unable to look at Arthur. Arthur sighed.

'Why would I be?'

'Because-'

'What? Because you clearly don't trust me enough to tell me what's going on?' Merlin's eyes flickered to his friend's face.

'I… I do trust you. More than anyone.' Arthur scoffed. He lifted a branch from the ground and threw it into the fire, watching at it caught fire and burned. Merlin moved closer to him.

'Hey, it's true,' he said, nervously. He could handle the nights not trusting him, even Gwen, but Arthur? 'Arthur!'

The king lifted his head but did not look at his manservant. He didn't understand why Merlin not trusting him bothered him so much, he was just a servant, after all.

'You believe me, right?'

'Sure.' Arthur said, doubtfully. Merlin kept his gaze fixed on Arthur, and as night fell once more, the air was filled with a terrible silence.


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing Merlin noticed when he woke was the eerie silence the surrounded him. No birds were calling, no leaves were rustling, and it unnerved him greatly. The second thing he noticed was that he was alone. The space beside him where Arthur had lain was now just a dent in the ground. Merlin got to his feet and called Arthur's name; expecting him to have just gone for a walk. When no reply came, Merlin ran a hand through his hair, worriedly.

'Arthur?' he whispered, looking around the dark forest. Behind him, a twig snapped, and Merlin whipped his head around just in time to se a large branch swung towards him. He heard a loud crack, and his world went dark as he fell to the ground.

The room in which Merlin awoke was dark and dusty. The black walls were bare, and one single window had been knocked into it, too far from the ground to be able to see out of. The floor was stone, and it dug painfully into Merlin's back as he moved. Merlin struggled to sit up; his hands had been carelessly chained to the wall above his head, and Merlin realised that he could no longer feel his fingers. In front of him stood five men, the one in the centre of the line clearly in charge. Merlin's eyes scanned the men and came to rest on the one stood on the far right. His eyes widened, and his heart bead loudly in his ears.

'Arthur…?' he said, confused. The man in the centre let out a loud, ground-shaking laugh, causing Merlin to flinch and bang his head off the wall. The man's face fell and he rested a steely gaze on Merlin.

'He's ours now.' He said. Merlin flickered his eyes to Arthur, who stood still, almost statue-like, his stone-cold face resting on the wall just above Merlin's head. He did not appear injured, as he had been before, which only confused Merlin further.

'Wh-what have you done to him?' Merlin asked, nervously.

'That's no concern of yours. We will return in exactly one hour. Don't try and escape…' Merlin looked at the man with confused eyes. 'Dracon, stay with'im. Watch Pendragon, an'all.' A tall, red-haired man nodded his head, a grin on his face.

'Sure will, sire.' Another laugh escaped the man's lips as he turned and headed for the door, followed by three others. Merlin's eyes never left Arthur's face. The door shut, and Merlin heard a key turn in the lock, which just made him even more nervous. His palms were sweaty and his eyes were misty with tears, though he tried his hardest to stop them from falling. His head ached, and he longed to be back in the forest, with Arthur by his side.

'Arthur…' he tried, once again. The man that stayed to watch them turned to him with a deathly stare.

'Shut. Up.' He stated, angrily. Merlin shut his eyes and leaned back against the stone wall, his brain trying to find a way to escape. He'd heard the man's warning, and the seriousness in his voice, but Merlin knew he had to get out of this place, to get Arthur out of this place. He opened his eyes, slowly. The small beam of sun that shone through the window was directed at him, and it shone in hiss eyes, almost blinding him. He turned to Arthur and then to the man; Dracon.

'Why are you doing this?' he asked, trying to sound confidently. The man rolled his eyes and turned to him.

'Because I can.'

'But…

'Do you not understand the meaning of _shut up_!' Merlin flinched as the last words were yelled, and he glanced to Arthur, looking for some sign that he was in there. But he stood in the same position he had before, not moving, not speaking. Barely breathing.

'Apparently not.' Merlin whispered, looking to the floor.

'What was that?!' Merlin's head snapped up, his worried eyes connecting with those of Dracon, who had moved a lot closer.

'N-nothing!' Merlin exclaimed, nervously.

'You're a terrible liar.' Dracon said, a smirk appearing on his lips as he got even closer. All traces of air left Merlin's lungs as a foot connected with his stomach. He doubled over as best he could, his head resting on his knees. Dracon's foot connected with Merlin's side, and Merlin groaned in pain, wishing his hands were free so he could protect himself. Tears fell from his eyes and he was kicked again, and the sound of laughter echoed through his ears.

'Not so tough now your precious king won't help you.' Dracon snapped, gripping onto Merlin's hair and pulling his head backwards. Merlin's eyes connected with Arthur's, and for a moment he could have sworn he saw him smiling.

**Thank you for actually bothering to read this rubbish, haha :) Please review! x**


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin couldn't look at Arthur, it hurt too much. His friend, his king, had been… possessed? Merlin didn't know. He knew that Arthur wasn't himself, though. That, whatever was inside Arthur had done something to him, turned him into someone else. Merlin's eyes stayed glued to the floor. His ribs ached, his head was worse, and a strange feeling of nausea was running through him. His hands had been held above his head for so long, he doubted there was any blood left in them, and they had started to go numb a long time ago. Moving his eyes a little to the left, Merlin caught sight of Arthur's legs. His boots were gone, and small cuts and bruises covered his bare feet. Merlin took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a moment. Then a knock came at the door, and a man entered.

'Dracon! Raphael needs your help.' Dracon got up off the cold stone floor and headed for the door, turning just before he left.

'Don't try anything!' he warned Merlin, and then turned to Arthur. 'Pendragon! You know what to do.' Merlin's gaze left the floor and landed on Arthur. Arthur turned his head to Dracon and nodded once. Once Dracon had left the room, Merlin felt like he was able to breathe again for the first time since he woke. Arthur moved to sit on an up-turned box that lay on the other side of the room. He clasped his hands together between his knees, refusing to meet Merlin's gaze.

'Arthur?' Merlin said, his voice quieter than he had expected it to be. He cleared his throat and looked towards the large, iron door. It had been slammed shut, of course, but Merlin couldn't be sure if he'd heard it locked. Either way, he'd need Arthur on his side if he was going to try and escape, which seemed impossible as Arthur wouldn't even look at him, let alone talk to him.

'Arth-' Merlin tried to talk louder, but his voice failed him. He bowed his head. Merlin huffed and yanked at his restraints. It was of no use, just as it hadn't been for the last few hours; the chains binding him in place were attached to a spike driven deeply into the stone wall of the room, far too deeply for him to pull out.

'Why am I bothering? I'm never getting out of here. _Except with magic_' Merlin said wistfully, but again, it was of no use. He couldn't, not with Arthur there. He knew that he'd have to tell Arthur of his magic at some point, and most likely soon, but he was still wary. Sometimes Arthur would seem almost welcoming of magic and those who used it, only for someone to destroy his near-acceptance and return him to an almost Uther-like state of hatred. He had no idea if his friendship with Arthur - and yes, he knew better than to deny the closeness between them - would help spare him from the chopping block or the pyre, or if Arthur would cease to see him as his loyal, if clumsy manservant, and suddenly see a being of pure evil in his place. He knew at heart that Arthur wouldn't send him to his death, but that didn't stop him from being terrified of the very idea of Arthur finding out his most guarded secret. He flinched at the thought and pulled at his chains once more.

_He lifted his head, surprised to find Arthur's deep blue eyes looking back at him._

_ 'Arth-'_

_ 'What did you say?' he asked, his eyes betraying the cold façade that he was putting on. His voice sounded different, gravelly and unused for a while. He didn't sound like Arthur at all. He wasn't Arthur. Was he?_

_ 'I… sire?' Merlin sat himself up a little straighter._

_ 'You have-__' Merlin's eyes widened, and he looked away from Arthur, too afraid to see the emotion on his king's face. All of a sudden, the door slammed open, and two men came rushing into the room._

_'Come along, Pendragon! You're needed in the great hall.' Arthur got to his feet, his eyes on Merlin for a minute longer, before he headed to the door. Merlin looked up just in time to see Arthur pause and look over his shoulder, a look in his eyes that Merlin had never seen before. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so this chapter is kind of weird and depressing. Sorry. Enjoy :) **

The chains felt heavy as Merlin dragged himself to his weak knees. He examined the lock that bound him to the wall.

_It's now or never_, he thought, gripping the chain as best he could and focusing on one thought: Free. His eyes glowed orange, and the chains started to vibrate. The chain glowed, and one by one, the links dissolved, releasing Merlin from his prison. Merlin sighed a breath of relief, and he slowly got to his feet. His legs were weaker than he'd thought them to be, and his knees made a deafening crack at he stretched his legs fully. Looking towards the door, Merlin froze. He had no idea if it was locked or not, and was growing increasingly afraid that it was; even though he knew that his magic could open it in a second. But his energy was low, and his arms were tingling with the numbness, and Merlin couldn't be sure if he could work up the power to break the door open. He took three shaky steps, which was all that was needed to close the small space between himself and the door. His hand reached out and grasped the handle, and as quickly as he could manage, he turned and pulled. To his surprise, the door swung open, revealing an empty hallway. Stepping through the doorway, Merlin looked left, then right. He saw nobody. Turning left, Merlin crept along the hallway as silently as possible, and stopped as he reached a corner. To his right was another hallway, leaning to a large wooden door. To his right was a smaller door, bolted and padlocked. Merlin sighed and turned to the right. Creeping down the hall, he was almost at the door when a hand grabbed him from behind. He struggled to breathe as another was clasped over his mouth.

'What did I tell you, boy?' Merlin felt the warmth of the man's breath in his ear as he was dragged backwards and thrown to the ground. His head banged against the floor, and he heard a ringing in his ears, and he was grabbed by the scruff of his neck and lifted roughly to his feet. In front of him, three men stood, including Arthur, watching the scene before him. The largest of the men walked forward, his hands clad in leather gloves and an evil grin plastered on his face. He swung his fist back, and Merlin shut his eyes as the man's fist connected with his stomach. He doubled over, the man behind him gripping onto his arm and twisting it painfully behind his back. Merlin yelled out in pain, as he heard a deafening crack, and pain soared through his shoulder.

'You think ya can escape us?!' the bald man yelled into his face, gripping Merlin's face painfully. Merlin gagged as the man's breath reached his nose, and he struggled to move away. Merlin's heart beat faster as he saw Arthur's face appear over the man's left shoulder.

_God no_, he thought. _Not him, anyone but him, any…_

'Pendragon. Finish him.' The man snarled, backing away. The man that held his arms behind his back released him, giving him a forceful shove, and Merlin fell to the floor. He watched, fearfully, as Arthur walked towards him, and squeezed his eyes shut as he received the first, painful kick in his stomach. Blows rained down on him, and Merlin covered his face with his arms, each kick and punch seeming a million times worse than it actually was. One final, forceful kick connected with his chest, and Merlin felt the anger and the power that went into it vibrate through him. Then, a voice.

'That's enough for now.' Laughter surrounded him, followed by thudding footsteps and rough hands, pulling him to his feet and dragging him back along the corridor. He was thrown into the room, the door locked firmly behind him. Two men stayed in the room, one of which was Arthur and one of which was not. The other man, Randall, sat on the upturned box, while Arthur paced the floor. Merlin lay, trembling, on the floor, hiding his tear-stained face from the world. He listened to Arthur's footsteps, to the sound of him breathing; anything to take his mind away from the position he was in. His eyes grew heavy, and though he tried to keep them open, he was soon in a dream-filled sleep.

When he woke, the sun had disappeared. Merlin now sat up, against the wall, his head rolled to the side. He looked around him, nervously. The two men were still there, both seemingly asleep. Merlin moved, groaning as he moved his stiff neck. Arthur looked up at him, no expression in his eyes. Merlin glanced to the other man and then back to Arthur.

'You talk in your sleep.' He stated, bluntly.

'I know. I always have.' Merlin said, taking a shaky breath. Arthur's sudden mood changes were freaking him out. In face, Merlin was suddenly unsure if he was under a spell at all. But Arthur, _his _Arthur, would never do this to him. He would never hurt him, would he? Now that he thought about it, how well did Merlin really know Arthur? I mean, sure they were sort of friends? But, Arthur didn't tell him anything about himself, and the few things he did know about Arthur, he had learned from Gaius or Gwen or Lancelot.

For the second time that day, the door was thrown open and Raphael walked in, carrying with him a large, silver dagger. Merlin's eyes widened, and Arthur got to his feet, nodding a hello to Raphael.

'Ah, Pendragon. No problems, I hope.'

'No, sir.'

'Too bad, I was rather looking forward to thrashing him again.' Raphael snarled, annoyed. Merlin scrambled backwards, against the wall. Raphael moved towards Arthur and whispered in his ear, then he turned towards Merlin, a smile on his face.

'Now. Emrys,' Merlin looked to Arthur, afraid. 'Where is he?'

'Who?'

'Your little friend. _Mordred._' Merlin's eyebrows knitted together.

'Wha- what do you want with Mordred?' he asked, confused.

'He owes my brother, here,' he motioned to the man stood in the doorway. 'a favour.'

'What… kind of a favour?' Raphael chuckled.

'That is no business of yours. Where is he?' Merlin's eyes once again flickered to Arthur.

'I'll only tell you if you release him…' he said, confidently.

'And why would I do that, Emrys? He's a powerful tool in this war. And I'm betting he'll get the truth out of you,' the man said, motioning Arthur forward. 'You wouldn't lie to your beloved king, now, would you?' Raphael said, handing the dagger to Arthur.


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh god, would you judge me if I said that I cried while writing this? Hope you enjoy x**

Arthur's head was pounding. His hands were shaking, his eyes were blurry. It took him a moment to realise that he was no longer lying on the forest floor, with his servant by his side. He stared at the wall in front of him. In his hand, he felt something cool and heavy, and he looked down. Upon seeing the dagger in his hand, he released it, watching as it fell with a loud clatter to the floor. He turned his head, seeing a dark-haired figure from the corner of his eye. His head was pounding, and he clamped his eyes shut, lifting a hand to his head and grasping his hair tightly. On the floor before him, Merlin shifted forward, his eyes concerned.

'Arthur?' he called out.

Arthur lifted his head. His eyes no longer held the confusion that Merlin had seen just a moment before. He glared down at Merlin, his steely blue eyes cutting through him, and he moved forward quickly, lifting his foot and bringing it down heavily on Merlin's hand. Merlin's world turned black as a loud crack echoed through the room. He screamed out in pain, and as another foot connected with his chest, tears poured from his eyes.

'Did I say you could speak?!' Arthur yelled, causing Merlin to move away from him.

'N-no! I'm sorry!' Merlin cried out Arthur had never yelled at him before. From behind Arthur, a voice embodied.

'Pendragon!' it said, nothing but anger and hatred showing.

'Sir?'

'Break him.' Arthur grinned.

'Gladly.'

Arthur kicked and punched and kicked and punch, not stopping until he was certain that Merlin would no longer answer back, and finally, the moment Merlin had been dreading arrived. Arthur stepped backwards, moving towards the dagger that lay abandoned on the ground. Merlin struggled to sit himself up, and scrambled backwards, his shoulder connecting painfully with the wall. Arthur picked up the dagger and held it confidently in his hand, taking a step towards Merlin.

'Ar-Arthur,' he said, in a trembling voice. 'Arthur, you don't have to do this…' Although his back was pressed firmly against the wall, Merlin tried to move further away from Arthur. It as no use, and all too soon, Arthur was stood directly in front of him. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut, awaiting the blow from the dagger that would most likely kill him. But it didn't come.

Arthur stood, wobbling on his legs. His head was pounding again. His hands still trembled, and once again the dagger was in his blood-covered hands. He looked around him, trying to determine where on earth he was, when all of a sudden, he was forced backwards.

Merlin opened his eyes. Arthur no longer looked at him, he gazed at the wall above his head, his eyes dazed and confused.

_I'm sorry, Arthur…_ Merlin thought, as he outstretched his hand. He focused his energy on Arthur's chest, and a rush of warm light flew from his fingertips. He could no longer see Arthur.

Arthur yelled out in pain as his shoulder connected to the cold, hard ground. He lay on his stomach, blinking rapidly as his vision had blurred. In front of him, he saw the blurry figure of a man he knew, his arm outstretched, the remaining light being sucked back into his fingertips. His eyes cleared, and he looked at Merlin. Confusion and pain were all he felt as he sunk into a deep, deep sleep.

Merlin dropped his hand to the floor, a sense of terror in his chest. Arthur lay across the room, his shoulder bent at an awkward angle, a bleeding gash on his forehead. But what worried Merlin more was the pool of blood that seeped through his chain mail. Arthur's wound had re-appeared, and suddenly a terrifying thought came to Merlin: _Had the spell broken?_

Merlin had no time to think any other thoughts, as the sound of footsteps moved towards him. He lifted his hand once more, shooting more, burning light towards the direction of the door. Pain-filled screams filled the room, and the remaining men fell to the floor, dead. Merlin fell back against the wall, all traces of energy gone from his body. On the other side of the room, Arthur whimpered. Merlin's head snapped up. A faint, blue light surrounded the king's body, every so often flashing white, causing another whimper of pain to escape Arthur's lips. Merlin moved forwards, using his good hand to drag himself across the floor and cradling the other in his lap. He reached out a hand to Arthur. The man lay, trembling, beneath him. His eyes closed tight, and his fists clenched, and Merlin was sure he could hear his teeth grinding together.

_What have I done?_ He thought, a stray tear escaping his eye. He placed his hand on Arthur's forehead and focused all his might on stopping Arthur's pain. As his body was under so much pressure, he had lost control of his magic, and now Arthur lay, enchanted. Tortured by his boy and his mind. And Merlin could do nothing but wait for it to wear off.


	8. Chapter 8

Arthur's eyes flickered open. The room he was in was dark and dreary, no light entered through the small window. He felt a hand gently stroking his hair, and he sat up, too quickly. He pressed a hand to the open wound on his stomach, hissing air through his teeth and bowing his head. Behind him, a worried voice called out.

'Arthur!'

Merlin scrambled to his knees, placing a hand on Arthur's elbow to steady him. The king shook him off.

'Get off me…' he mumbled. Was that a touch of nervousness in his voice? Merlin shook his head.

_No,_ he thought. _Never. _

Arthur looked around the room, his eyes resting on the bodies of the three men.

'What happened?' he asked, quietly. Merlin moved his eyes to the bodies, deciding not to reply. The room was silent for a minute or two, and Merlin moved away from Arthur.

'A-are you alright?' he asked, nervously. Arthur turned to look at him.

'I'm fine…' Merlin sighed. It was obvious that Arthur was lying to him. Merlin had always been able to tell.

'You're not..' he said, in almost a whisper. Arthur looked away from him, towards the open door.

'Arthur, I…' Arthur stumbled to his feet and moved for the door.

'Don't.'

Arthur walked through the open doorway. Other than the occasional creaking of floorboards when he moved, the building was silent. Outside, rain hammered against the window, and the strong winds threatened to knock over the large oak tree that stood near it. He turned right and headed along the corridor. Behind him, he heard Merlin, running to catch up with him.

'Wh-where are you going?'

'Home!' Merlin followed after him, unsure if he was welcome to. After a while of waling in silence, Merlin could take it no more.

'You s-saw… didn't you.'

'Of course I bloody saw, Merlin!' Arthur snapped, shaking his head. Merlin fell back a few steps.

'Arthur, I'm sorry, but I-'

'You what, Merlin?!' he yelled, spinning around. Merlin stopped in his tracks.

'I wanted to tell you…' he whispered

'Then why _didn't _you? I thought you _trusted _me, Merlin!' Merlin looked up and into Arthur's eyes.

'I do, Arthur. More than- than anyone, but…'

'But what?'

'I was afraid… of- of you.' Arthur folded his arms across his chest and raised his eyebrows.

'Me?' he asked, unbelieving.

'I know how you hate magic, Arthur, I was… afraid of how you'd react. Of what you'd do.' Arthur looked to the side, shaking his head.

'You're a sorcerer...'

'Arthur…'

"How long, Merlin?"

"What?"

"How long have you been practicing magic?"

"I…." Merlin looked away. Whether it was in shame or from fear of answering the question, Arthur didn't know.

"_How long, Merlin?" _Arthur asked through clenched teeth as he took a tentative step closer. It was the tone he used to assert himself, the one that said, "I'm the crown prince, and you _will_ answer me.

"Since before I came to Camelot," Merlin answered quietly, still not looking at Arthur. "I was…I was born with it."

"_Born_ with it? That's preposterous!" Arthur scoffed, insulted that Merlin thought him dumb enough to fall for that.

"It's the truth," Merlin said, looking back up at the prince, and Arthur noticed a firm edge in the way Merlin said it.

"The _truth_?" Arthur bit the word out, practically choking on it. "How can you _possibly_ expect me to know what 'the truth' is where it concerns you, Merlin?"

Merlin looked down again, his shame clearly evident this time. He looked not unlike a sad little puppy that had just been reprimanded by its master for running away. But Arthur was not going to let Merlin's sad little lost boy act work on him. He had far more than Merlin's feelings on his mind.

"Have you used magic in Camelot before now?"

"Yes."

Arthur shook his head slightly. "What do you expect me to do with this news, Merlin? You know how my father feels about magic. You know how _I _feel about magic."

Without warning, the shamed look on Merlin's face quickly became one of anger. "What would you have had me do, Arthur? Let the people I love die rather than use my magic?"

Arthur froze, letting the words sink in, too distracted by the conversation to chastise Merlin for his tone. The implication that _Arthur_ was one of those people whom Merlin loved hung heavy in the air between them, not going unnoticed by Arthur, who felt slightly touched. But there was no time for that. He was angry, dammit! And he wanted more answers.

"So back when I first met you, when you saved me from Lady Helen-"

"Yes."

"What about Lord Valiant?"

"I brought the snakes on his shield to life."

Fear coursed through Arthur, and it must have shown on his face, because he saw Merlin flinch slightly at the prince's reaction. Arthur couldn't help it. The thought of Merlin bringing inanimate objects to life with just the power of his mind scared him more than he cared to admit.

"And what about-"

"I enchanted the sword Lancelot used to kill the griffon. I stopped Edwin and his magic beetles. Cornelius Sigan, Nimueh-"

"Nimueh?"

"She's dead. I killed her."

Arthur couldn't hide it this time. He shuddered, taking a small step back. There was no use denying it: the prince was actually afraid of his manservant.

"So that time in Ealdor," Arthur continued as more memories came back to him. "When your friend said he was a sorcerer. That was a lie?"

"Yes. William was trying to protect me."

"And what about that blue light in the cave? When I went to find that flower that I needed to save you?"

"I was barely conscious when that happened, but…yes, that was me, too."

"You weren't anywhere near me when you did that," Arthur said, the implications staggering.

"I know," Merlin answered softly, unable to hold Arthur's gaze anymore as he looked down at the floor once again.

"My god, Merlin."

Arthur wanted to pace – the nervous energy he felt was making him restless – but he had to admit he wasn't sure he wanted to turn his back on a sorcerer, even if it _was_ Merlin.

"All this time…ever since I met you…you've been using magic."

"Arthur, I swear to you, I've only ever used magic for good. To help people. To help _you_."

"Magic is evil," Arthur replied quietly, and Arthur refused to admit to himself that the excuse sounded a bit feeble.

Merlin looked back up, shaking his head slightly. "Arthur, you once told me you thought that not all magic could be evil."

"But that was before. Before I saw how magic is used to spread lies and create conflict," Arthur replied, thinking about Morgause and her lies about his father.

"But I never used magic for those reasons, Arthur. I swear, on my life, that I've only ever used it as a weapon for good.

"A weapon!" Arthur cried, throwing his hands in the air, losing the tentative grasp he had on his temper. As usual, Merlin had put his foot in his mouth. "What a fine choice of words, Merlin! A weapon indeed."

Arthur turned his back on Merlin, his outrage overcoming his fear. They stood in stony silence, Arthur's mind reeling at how Merlin really had been using his magic as a weapon. How many people had Merlin killed with just his thoughts and a few choice words? How many were there that Arthur didn't even know about?

"It's not any different than you using a sword for a weapon, Arthur."

"Of course it is," Arthur responded, turning back to face Merlin. "Magic is evil."

"No, it isn't," Merlin said, and Arthur noticed yet another change come over his servant. Merlin looked strangely determined, as though what he had to say was of the utmost importance and he desperately wanted Arthur to understand. "Without a hand to guide it, your sword is just a piece of metal lying on the floor. It's only when you pick it up that it becomes a force for good or evil, and that all depends on how you use it. Magic is the same as your sword. By itself, it's a neutral entity; it's not inherently good _or_ evil. It's _how you choose to use it_ that matters."

Arthur wanted to come up with a retort, but he couldn't. He was floored. What Merlin had said made a strange kind of sense to him, though it was a wonder Merlin had been able to put it so eloquently. He had to have been practicing. But as Arthur pondered his servant's words, something that had been bothering him for the past few minutes came back to him, pushing all talk of weapons and the nature of good and evil and magic from his mind.

"What about that girl…the one the bounty hunter was looking for? Were you hiding that girl, Merlin? Even though I told the bounty hunter to leave you alone because you had my _absolute trust_? Were you really the one that hid her?"

Merlin seemed to deflate instantly, his determination gone as he once again looked to the floor in shame. He didn't even have to admit to this one out loud.

Arthur fought to keep composure, but he lost the battle.

"So you let me defend you, admit that you had my _trust_, and you were _lying to me?_" Arthur asked angrily. "That girl was a monster, Merlin! She killed innocent people; she nearly killed me and my men. And you were _protecting her?!_"

"I'm sorry," Merlin whispered, still not looking up.

"You're 'sorry'?" Arthur mocked. "Well, that makes it all right then! My god, Merlin…" Arthur started pacing slightly, unable to contain his nervous energy anymore as the shock of everything he was hearing became too much for him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Short and sweet. That's always the best way, right? I wasn't sure if it happened too quickly. Ummm, did it? Anyway, thank you for bearing with me, hah :) Enjoy the chapter x**

Arthur's world turned blurry once again, and before he knew it he was face-down on the ground. Merlin rushed to his side.

'Arthur, what's wrong?' He reached out and placed his hands on Arthur's back, swiftly moving away when he saw Arthur flinch. Merlin's face fell, suddenly remembering the look that he saw in Arthur's eyes after he'd used his magic on him. It couldn't be possible that Arthur was afraid of him. Arthur was strong, the strongest man he'd ever known. How could he possibly be scared of me?

Merlin looked down at his trembling king. The man had turned a deathly white, his hand was clasping at his chest as if he struggled to breathe.

'Arthur…' Merlin whispered, cautiously placing his hand back on Arthur's back.

'Arthur… I'm so sorry.' Arthur squeezed his eyes shut and pushed himself to his knees, clenching his teeth together to stop himself from crying out.

'Don't. Touch me.' Arthur warned, scrambling to his feet. His legs felt like jelly, and Arthur threw his hands out in front of him as he fell forward, knocking his head on a tree and landing on his stomach on the ground.

'Alright…' Merlin stormed over to his king and knelt beside him, wrapping a hand around his waist and lifting him into a sitting position. Arthur looked at him with such hatred and betrayal that Merlin thought he would break down right there. But he swore to stay strong, if not for Arthur then for himself.

'Arthur, please, just let me explain.' Merlin begged, his face mere centimetres from Arthur's. Arthur said nothing, and Merlin took that as a sign to continue. He sat, cross-legged, next to Arthur and looked at the ground.

'I- I know you think that all magic is… evil,' Merlin's voice broke as he spoke the last word. 'But I swear, I'm…' Arthur turned to look at him, his face not betraying any emotions he was feeling.

'I'm still me.' Merlin whispered, hopelessly. Arthur scoffed and shook his head, turning away from the pleading gaze of his former friend.

'It's true! I swear, nothing on this earth could _ever _bring me to harm you, Arthur.' Merlin said, defiantly. Arthur's eyes fell to his still-twitching leg.

'Then why did you.' He asked, his gaze accusing. Now it was Merlin's turn to look away. He glanced at his hands and once again was taken back to that room, to the moment he had used his magic on whatever it was that possessed Arthur. The look in his eyes was pure terror, and Merlin suddenly understood. He lifted a hand to Arthur's cheek and turned his head, gazing deeply into the king's eyes.

'Arthur,' he started. 'You don't know what- You were enchanted, Arthur. I didn't- I didn't know, I thought it was still in you, but I would never, _ever _hurt you. You had a dagger, Arthur! They would have… you could have killed me.' Merlin's gaze wavered as he saw the sight of tears rising in Arthur's eyes. He wanted so badly to look away, but he couldn't bring himself to. Without realising it, Merlin had moved closer to Arthur. He could feel his warm breath on his cheek, he lifted a hand to Arthur's chest and felt the tremor as he placed it over his heart. Merlin continued inching forward, his eyes never leaving Arthur's, when suddenly he realised what he was doing.

Merlin's cheeks flushed red, and he pulled back, too embarrassed to look his prince in the eye. His heart was hammering so hard in his chest, he was afraid it would explode. Arthur lifted a hand to Merlin's cheek and brushed his fingers along his jaw, a look of trust in his eyes.

'It's alright,' he confesses, confidently. 'I want you to.'

Merlin wrapped his hand gently around the scruff of Arthur's neck, allowing himself to move closer and closer, until he was nose-to-nose with the man that he loved. He paused, afraid to close the small space between them, afraid of the consequences.

Arthur's hands moved up to Merlin's back and pushed him forwards. The kiss was soft and gentle, their lips barely brushing. Merlin's eyes closed, and he focused on the taste of Arthur's lips.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it's so short x**

It took Merlin approximately five seconds to realise that he could no longer breathe. He lifted a hand to Arthur's cheek and pulled his head away, a small smile on his cherry-red lips. He looked into Arthur's dazzling blue eyes, and Arthur looked back. They sat in silence for a moment of two, Arthur's hand gripping onto Merlin's shirt, and Merlin's stroking his cheek. Then Arthur chuckled, and Merlin's brows knitted together. He chewed on his bottom lip, thoughtfully.

'What?' he asked, in almost a whisper. Arthur shook his head slightly, his eyes flickering to Merlin's lips.

'You're blushing.' Merlin looked, embarrassed, to the forest floor, suddenly aware of the heat rising in his cheeks. Arthur laughed again, and Merlin dropped his hand to his shoulder.

'Well,' he started. 'What did you expect? I just made out with the king.' He lifted his head and beamed at Arthur.

'Don't. Ever say that again.' He said, mockingly. His hand slid lower and landed on Merlin's waist, and the servant's blush returned. Arthur smiled at the man, lovingly, before pulling him closer and gently pressing their lips together once again.


End file.
